What have you done today to make you feel proud?

People are proud of doing all sorts of things, but really if it benefits you and no-one else really (for instance, round the world sailing followed by profuse crying and piles of cash coming your way) then it's not really much to be proud of in my view.

A few years ago some colleagues cajoled me into donating blood and I gave my 10th pint a couple of weeks back.

It's not a big deal compared with many donors, but as a kid I remember how my great uncle always wore his pin badge (probably for 50 or more donations!) with pride and getting my own, even for just 10, gave me a taste of why.

There's no direct benefit in giving blood, for the donor in the UK, except for a cup of tea and biscuits, but without people giving blood many wouldn't survive operations or cancer treatment.

I'll admit I was (still am!) a bit squeamish about the needles (don't look if you are - they're pretty thick!), but the actual experience is pretty much painless (an ant bite is about as bad as the needle going in at worst in my experiences), so if you want to do something easy, selfless and that you can feel a little bit of well deserved pride in for doing, get out and give blood!

See the "Give Blood" website for details of how to - http://www.blood.co.uk/

Audible

A while ago I took out a trial on Audible, Amazon's audio book service.

I got a free book (The Jeremy Deaver Bond - Carte Blanche) and then, forgetting to cancel it, I had to pay £7 or so for a month's subscription, so got a Milton Jones 'audio book' - more a radio show really.

I then cancelled it as I wasn't using it (and I was rather frustrated to find I couldn't stick it on my MP3 player or a CD in the car - Seems you can do the latter somehow now), but in recent weeks I decided to give the Bond book a go.

Half way through and I think I can categorically say Audible isn't for me (probably Audio books aren't).

Reading is a pretty focussed activity. You can't watch TV and read a book, or hold a conversation and read a book. You might do both in a period of time, but you timeslice, breaking from the book whilst you talk or listen to someone and then picking up where you left off.

With an Audio Book I find a distraction takes my mind away from the 'book', but when I return to it, it's merrily ploughed on, knocking down a number of characters and demolishing an ornamental wall!

Unless you can focus entirely on the book, you will miss chunks.

Even a train journey has too many distractions - sunsets, nice cars in station car parks, odd looking fellow passengers, newspaper headlines - even an idle thought can mean you miss a character being killed off or some vital part of the plot.

The other thing is the reader. Toby Stephens, a fairly capable actor, reads Carte Blanche in a suitably sardonic style, but when the action moves to South Africa he proves that he doesn't really have a career playing Seeth Ifrikens! His accent is beyond poor and well into laughable (I did actually laugh the first time he spoke in it). When it's going on in your head, the accents are 'right' because you know what a REAL South African will sound like (and it's not Toby Stephens!).

I'm sure if you cannot read books for some reason, poor eyesight probably, audio books are a great way to get access to literature, information and just books for entertainment, but for me they're a dead loss...

Caro Emerald, Shepherds Bush, 13th December 2011

I saw a CD in an HMV one day and the bright red cover caught my eye.

It was "Deleted Scenes from the Cutting Room Floor" by Caro Emerald.

I didn't know if Caro was a person or a band and none of the track listing meant anything to me.

A while later, I stumbled across it again on Amazon and listened to some of her stuff on YouTube.

Caro Emerald is a Dutch singer and her first album is a mix of 50s glamour, latin rhythms and 21st century pop.

Loving the album, I ordered up two tickets to see her at Shepherds Bush in December and took along my 19 year old daughter (who also rather likes her stuff).

I'd forgotten how tiny the floor is at Shepherds Bush Empire (O2 Empire now I believe), but it's the only place to be in my view and it guaranteed an intimate experience, with both those on stage and around you in the audience as the show was a total sell out.

There was no support act, but that turned out to be just fine.

About 8:15 the band appeared and then Caro to tumultuous applause.

The first song was "That Man" which set the mood nicely, but it was clearly an audience in the mood to enjoy themselves.

Caro and her excellent band rattled through the upbeat "Just One Dance" and "Rivera Life" before things slowed a little with "Two Hearts" (one of the few songs not on her album) and then into the song that launched her career, "Back It Up", which is probably the least representative song of the rest of her material, being less 50s influenced than the rest of her material (the story is she was 'discovered' when providing a sample vocal for this song when the writers wanted to sell it to a more established artist - You wonder who it might have ended up with if fate hadn't intervened?).

After a quick change, whilst the band kept us on the boil, Caro returned for a couple of ballads, "The Lipstick On His Collar" and "The Other Woman", both full of bitterness and lament, which is something she does very well.

The next song was a new single, "You're All I Want For Christmas" (Not the Maria Carey song with a similar name!), which is actually released as a duet with Brook Benton (posthumously), but which she performed solo, showing off the sweeter side of her voice well.

Next it was back to upbeat with "Dr. Wanna Do" and then another ballad, "I Know That He's Mine". The juxtaposition of styles showing off Caro's range well, varying between frothiness and moodiness both visually and vocally without ever looking or sounding phoney.

The main set came to an end with the pounding trio of "Absolutely Me", "You Don't Love Me" and the wonderful "A Night Like This", but we all knew there was more to come.

The first encore was "Close To Me", another track which, she told us, she only performs live. Being less familiar it was perhaps hard to judge against the other songs, but (dare I say it?) didn't seem that remarkable to me.

Fortunately, she saved the rattling good "Stuck" ("Baby take me anywhere, but not here again!") for last and had everyone on the floor (and most of those in the tiers of chairs above) singing and dancing along.

For a final encore, she returned and performed a heartfelt rendition of "Love Is A Losing Game" in honour of Amy Winehouse and did a good job of it too, delivering it with pathos and feeling.

A quick glance at my watch revealed the Caro and her band had been on stage for over an hour and a half, but the time had flown by.

Caro Emerald strikes me as woman who wants you to enjoy her music as much as she seems to enjoy performing it and that was exactly how I felt.

The show was fun and enjoyable and she came across as a very friendly person who was, perhaps, a little surprised that she had attracted a full house so easily, but her performance was fine reward (as was that of her band who all had their moment centre stage and played their part in making the show such a success).

Heading back to Westfield's car parks, people were dancing along the street in the cold - The best recommendation I can think of!



In years to come, people who weren't there will tell you they saw Caro Emerald at Shepherds Bush!

For another review see http://www.entertainment-focus.com/music/articles/caro-emerald-tuesday-13th-december-2011-shepherds-bush-empire-london

Milton Jones - Lion Whisperer

I don't get to see enough live performances.

This is the same thought I have every time I go to see someone perform, even a bunch of lads doing covers in a pub.

This, though, was something different for me. Aside from a few trips to the Comedy Store, a Warren Mitchell one-man show (actually very good) and a club-comedian at Lakeside once, I have never seen a live stand up comedy performance, but I decided it would be fun to go and see Milton Jones.



Most people will probably know Milton Jones from his appearances on Mock the Week, where he makes comic observations, often puns or a play on words.

The Anvil in Basingstoke is a fairly compact modern theatre and we had excellent seats near the front in the centre. Some people were far behind us and high up and I wonder how good their view was.

The act started with Milton's disembodied voice telling us "It's Friday Night, it's Basingstoke - There's nowhere else I'd rather be. I think I'll come on in the second half, before that we have another act James Ancaster, but first Milton Jones' Grandfather!"

If you've heard Milton on the radio you'll know he has an unfeasible number of Grandfathers and the audience mostly got that joke.

"Milton's Grandfather" doddered onto the stage lookig remarkably like his grandson in a flat cap and long rain coat and you can see where Milton gets his style from as his act was very similar. He opened with "I had a cousin in Popley - Is that a nice place" and then went on to explain how he enjoys working in the Post Office for the "crumpet" ("Widow number 4 please")and many other very funny observations. His readings from his "Little Book of Time" were very funny ("Wolfgang Mozart", "What?" being 2/3rds of a very good one, which took a little while to hit the audience and which he worked back in later on).

After about 15-20 minutes, he doddered off and James Ancaster came on. James' style is very different to Milton's but I think he went down well with the audience. My wife commented that she didn't think he was very funny until the finale, but she said that was very good (I won't spoil it, but it's about skydiving) and I thought some of his observations about hiding behind doors and pretending to be dead in the bath (I know, but it WAS funny!) were very good. I thought he was a worthy support act and being different wasn't just a Milton-lite.

There was an interval and when we returned it was to the 'Real' Milton Jones.



With his trademark wild hair and bright shirts, he looked very much as you'd expect if you've seen him on TV.

His first line was "I had a cousin in Popley" which caused a ripple of laughter and was responded to with "Oh, he's done that one has he?".

The set lasted over an hour, no mean feat given the rate at which Milton delivers one liners. No long drawn out stories of his life here, if you've heard a Milton Jones joke before or don't like this one, don't worry there's another one just seconds away!

Some of the material was familiar from Mock the Week or his radio shows, but most was unfamiliar to me and the vast majority was very funny and original.

Milton Jones responded well to the crowd (it wasn't really heckling, but people shouted things out) and had a clever knack of referring back to things earlier in the set, even off the cuff responses from the audience.

Especially funny, because they were new to me, were his "slide show" set, where he showed us some of the slides he'd taken on tour (again I won't spoil the twist) and the use of modern technology (one of those old fashioned overhead projectors!) to display numerous hand drawn images ("This is Uncle Joe - He's getting on, his eyes have gone").

Everyone in the audience around me was having a thoroughly good time. The audience ranged from pre-teens to people well beyond retirement age and this highlights another unusual aspect of Milton Jones' Stand-up. He doesn't swear. At all!

The closest thing he got to risque was a joke that started "If I had a crystal ball...", but it would be a very odd person who could have taken offence at it.

Milton's quick wittedness and cleverness with wordplay doesn't need a string of expletives and manic performance (An arched eyebrow or shrug says so much when delivered expertly), which means that you can take your kids and grandparents along and chances are you'll all enjoy it!

He finished with asking us to help with a crossword clue "Grassy Upland - 4 letters M-something-something-R?"

"Moor, Moor, Moor" people answered - "I didn't want to leave it to chance", Milton replied, "Although someone in Leeds shouted 'Muddy'".

He did a short encore and then the lights came up, surprising us all with just how long his set had been.

Having seen a few "Big Names" at the comedy store and on TV, I was a little worried that I'd seen or heard most of Milton Jones' act already on various programmes, but although the style was unmistakably the Milton Jones from the TV or radio, it wasn't the same jokes and we all came away having had a thoroughly enjoyable evening.

Top marks from me!

IRIS - Look into my eyes

About a year ago (maybe more) I signed up for the Border and Immigration Agency's IRIS scheme as I departed the UK on business.

It only took about 5 minutes and the idea was that I wouldn't have to have my passport checked when I came back into the UK, simply look into a camera and it would compare my Iris pattern (as unique as a fingerprint) with that recorded when I signed up.

On the return leg, the IRIS machines were out of action and since then I'd not had an opportunity to fly through a terminal with the system.

Yesterday, however I did. I came in through Terminal 5 at Heathrow and, passport in hand, faced the long queue at passport control.

Then I spotted the channel for the IRIS machine with just 5 people in it. Of course, I joined it, partly to see if it would actually work.

The device is a camera with a couple of mirrors (for people of differing height, I guess) inside a cubicle with two pairs of sliding perspex doors. The idea being that you go in, the entry gate closes (to stop others coming in), you get your eyes scanned and then the second doors open letting you through.

My hopes weren't raised too high as a bloke 3 in front of me repeatedly tried and failed to get the system to recognise him, Finally, he was ejected from the entry gate and had to return to the Passport queue (Oddly, there seemed no way to get back out until the machine decides you can, which is a bit embarrasing for the person in it!).

However, the next couple in front of me passed through fairly easily (the woman, seemingly, at the first attempt) and then it was my go.

I walked in and looked into the mirror it said to use. Looking back at me was my face with two small green circles superimposed on it. I tried to get them aligned with my eyes and then a calm woman's voice came from the machine, saying "Move back slightly". I did so and as I tried to align my eyes the exit gate opened and a green arrow appeared on the machine.

All this took 5-10 seconds maximum and I was through! Total time from touchdown to home (30 miles away) took 1h 15m! If only flying was always so easy!

So, IRIS seems a great system to me. I'm not sure the poor bloke a little ahead of me would agree though...

Details of IRIS can be found here.

Medal of Honor 2010

The Medal Of Honor series of WW2 First Person Shooter (FPS) games was always a favourite of mine, but increasingly it became overshadowed by the superior Call of Duty Games.

Call of Duty Modern Warfare was the "Star Wars" of PC FPS games, changing expectations so much that even they struggled to match it with follow ups (Modern Warfare 2 and Black Ops).

Electronic Arts, the makers of the Medal Of Honor series, decided that if they couldn't beat COD they'd join them, updating the 2010 release (simply named Medal Of Honor) to the Afghan conflict of the early 21st century.

So, how does it compare?

It's a more 'realistic' game, at least in the plotting, where you get to play US Navy SEALs and Infantrymen fighting the Taliban (including elite 'Chechen' fighters) in the familiar mountains of Afghanistan (familiar from TV news and documentaries).
There are no chirpy Brits in this game, which is something I (as one) like about the COD games.

To be honest, it's an OK, but not particularly special game.

The action is remarkably repetitive and, dare I say it, rather easy (On the regular setting - I was probably 'killed' a dozen times in the whole game - I would imagine you could sail through totally unscathed on 'Easy').

The graphics are pretty good, owing much to the COD:MW series, although I don't believe they're quite a match in quality terms. On my quad core AMD/Raden 5750 graphics carded PC, there's no stuttering and game play is impressively smooth throughout.

The main thrust of the game, involves you as a member of a SEAL team operating up in the mountains where you go in search of the Taliban. At one point you get separated from two of your team and the rest of the game involves you battling increasingly numerous Taliban fighters in the mountains.

As I say, whilst this is done in a fairly realistic way with good graphics, it gets increasingly repetitive as you fight up slopes to clear camps, bunkers and cave complexes and the end is both anti-climactic and sudden and seems to come far too quickly.

There is an interlude where you act as a helicopter gunship pilot engaging some ground forces, but as with some other FPS games, this just seems a rather forced diversion, at odds with much of the rest of the game.

As you might expect of a 'modern' warfare game, you get to bring down air support and artillery fire with the aid of laser guidance weapons too and as you move through the game you can pick up enemy weapons or, a rather neat touch, ask your
comrades for ammunition for US weapons.

I got this for under a tenner and, at that price, it was good value, but if you're paying more you might feel a bit short changed.

More Music - The Eagles

The Eagles - One of the American supergroups from the seventies, they should be crap right?

So how come I love listening to them?

I suppose part of it is a nostalgia for my my youth - The little remembered "New Kid in Town" was a favourite when it was out and reminds me of freezing mornings delivering newspapers as a 13 year old saving up for a new racing bike.

But there's a lot more to that and listening to the very cheap and widely available 'Best of' double CD, I'm struck by how many good tracks there are (far from always true even of some of my favourite 'artists').

One of these Nights, Lyin' Eyes, the iconic Hotel California are all great, but so are Desperado, Life in the fast Lane and Best of My Love and loads of others.

Great guitar work without being pompous 5 minute solos, gut wrenching (or plain obtuse, but memorable) lyrics and tunes which despite coming from a black hole of music (on the whole) don't seem to have aged horribly.

So, there you are, a recommendation (of sorts) for you to go out (or just cruise to Amazon) and buy an Eagles CD (Greatest Hits is just £4.49 as I write this!)